Where I end NU begin

I first want to remind you all about what an amazing album ''The Hour Of The Bewilderbeast" with Badly Drawn Boy is on a sunny day in October.

Yesterday I had a gorgeous day on my own. I've enjoyed being on my own for a few days, haven't given myself enough alonetime lately. I went to Tate Modern and walked around for a couple of hours. No extraordinary exhibitions, but still cool. Just something with the whole atmosphere in museums. Inspired my head was spinning and my insides kicking so I bought myself a lovely reversible book, plane pages for sketching and lined pages for writing. And a graphite pencil. 'How does one get rid of inner tangles, when one doesn't know what element to use as an outsource?'. I walked along Thames and sat down and wrote. And sketched. A topclass time. Then I walked around for five hours and got lost on purpose, since I didn't have to be anywhere anyways. Smells like bohemian.

When Emma finished work we met up with some people at Bröderna Ohlsons Garlic & Shots. I had a beer and a Bloodshot. I woke up this morning with the taste of meaty bloodshot in my mouth. Haven't got my appetite back all day.

Tonight is an Idol-night. Feck, I've always made a point out of hating that programme. Kitchy katchy cats. Anyways, now I'm sort of looking forward to it. Smells like Svensson. Maybe its just to make up for my bohemian day yesterday. Guess you'll find me somewhere in between.


'My first thought is wondering what you would look like in the morning
only inches away
where nothing can be hidden
I paint a picture to ugly to ever get to find out
Maybe the beauty that picture should hold
is a pressure too hard to handle'

Publife & Parklife

With 'breathe me' in my headphones and words of wisdom from mum in my hand I did shed a tear when the plane left the ground. It took a long time after moving home from my two years away before I actually landed, but this summer I've been Home as ever. Stockholm is mine. I'll miss having my Stockholm at my doorstep. Anyways, the plane got up in the air and I turned up volume and bass and put on an awesome playlist. Nice digidigi. London London London!

After making my way on the tube with my 30 kg of luggage (I was brutal) Emma met me at Statford station and we went to the place where we're temporary staying. It is what you can expect from London. 5 or 6 people that doesn't know each other sharing a house that hasn't been cleaned for at least ten years. So why start know? Easier to just wear flipflops in the shower and clean the plates an extra time before eating on them. I was welcomed with a nice dinner and then we went to say hi to the Swedish crew at Bethnal Green.

Yesterday I got to see the apartment we have signed a contract for. It's a topclass shoebox! Literally. A white square box squeezed in between a garage and some backyards. No normal windows, only windows in the ceiling. A skylit shoebox! But it is so much nicer than I ever would have hoped to find in London. No carpets! And kitchen, bathroom, bath(!) and everything looks brand new. Oh, and it has a very loud alarm. The estate agent forgot that there was an alarm when he was gonna show me the place. At least now I know it's working. Can't wait to move in there. 15th it is. Two weeks.

I also went to have a look at my soon-to-be university. 100 metres from Oxford Circus. Nice. As long as the weather stays nice Regent Park will be the place for me and my books. The most peaceful place ever. Me and the squirrels. Autumn is at its best here now. 20 degrees in the sun, still green but with yellow shades.
I am adapting to England, I had a pint and chips for dinner yesterday. Meeting people is easy, as a wise man once said.

a little taste of my flying playlist:
Taking Hold-Alice Russell
Heres Whats Left-RJD2
Tell Everybody-Roisin Murphy
Victim of the Crime-Phoenix
Poison Cup-M.Ward
With Every Heartbeat-Kleerup feat Robyn
Mirror Mirror On The Wolf Tell The Story Right-Alice Russell
20$-M.I.A
Walking On A Dream-Empire of the Sun
Knocked Up-Kings Of Leon & Lykke Li

Indians and cakes

I am a bit like the Indians that has to sit and wait for their soul to arrive after travelling somewhere. It has taken mine eight months to get to Stockholm. But last week it finally arrived. I have celebrated with listening to all swedish music all weekend. Making endless playlists.

Having friends and family spread out is a bless but also a bit of a curse. The old having-the-cake-and-eat-it-syndrome. With easy access to the whole world, Nöjesguiden, jobs with social cred and people doing their own thing it can be quite hard to see the beauty of homemade bread. But think I've finally found the balance. Managed to stop stressing and let things sort themselves out.

I was sure eating a lot of the cake last week. Monday held a spontaneous late night. Tuesday I didn't anwer the phone and stayed in with myself. Thursday offered the King of Kong, cheese and a friend that knows good movies. Friday was the night of long time no sees. Saturday a night with the family. Sunday bbq with the ones I've known the longest. And all weekend swedish music, over and over again. And its less than three weeks 'til I go to my home away from home. Still got the cake!



"How bizarre is the loneliness
that comes from having too many loved ones
'Cause you can't embrace all of them
you're left with an exposed chest

How bizarre is the loneliness
that comes from having too many homes
'Cause too many places holds a past
wherever you settle a part of you doesn't belong

How bizarre is the loneliness
that creeps up on a saturday night
'Cause of too many joyable offers
you end up them all decline
So when your final shot fills the room
you've forgotten how to pick up

How bizarre is the loneliness
that suddenly isn't there
When you're thousands of feet up in the air
and noone you know is around
with all that belongs far away
Peace found you in nowhereland"

Where do you go to my lovely?

"Where do you go to my lovely when you're alone in your bed
and tell me the thoughts that surrounds you I want to look inside your head"

And again I was reminded of the importance of having a place where you find peace of mind in a society that never stops. Somewhere to give yourself a break from all the constant torrent of information, all demands and just allow yourself to think. Feel. Get inside your own head. Allow all the feelings, thoughts and impressions to fall into place. Get perspectiv Get closeness. To what is important. Let it hurt. Be happy. Feel until you can't breath and you're about to break. Cause that's when it's all is so fucking beautiful.

I get peace of mind when I am alone with my stereo. And now it's nearly summer so it's all happy tunes. Cause when the summer is here we're happy. We're living. Or are we? Me and my loveliest friend Stina saw this movie yesterday where a guy comits suicude in the summer because he just doesn't want to go through another winter. Stina told me she had read that in Sweden (the country with the highest rates of suicides in the world), most suicides are comitted during the summer. Maybe that's because it's not allowed to be sad and lonely during the glittery summermonths. You're supposed to do all these things, meet all those people. If you're not, then it's just miserable. And then things get out of propotion.
Anyways. I love that the light is finally here. Every morning when i walk or bike to work I get this silly giggle when I cross the bridge and Stockholm is covered in bright sunshine. I can see football in the park, a beer in the sun, see it being more of those moments five a clock in the morning when "jag ger dig min morgon" is the most beautiful peace ever written, see mischief, water and a boat. And I leave all those serious thoughts behind and decide to just go with the flow. Gangstas.

2009

It's 2009. I'm listening to Spotify (playlists, not albums). I'm reading about how you can use the financial crisis to set up your own business. I'm paralyzed by all the opportunities given. I'm wearing something that's not a top, but not a dress either. I'm thinking about Nikita who I haven't met yet cause she's fresh like...well, the newborn baby she is. I'm changing tune before I've finished the one I was listening to before. I'm in between things. I'm trying to figure out whats best for ME. I want to save the world. Im skipping tune again. And now I've got a blog.
It's 2009 folks!